Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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