Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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