Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
