I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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