wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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