Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
