I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
