I want to stick my p in your. b.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
