one might say we're banned from that church
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Your cock deserves a montage
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
