i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize