i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
