Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
