i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
try to milk me bitch
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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