I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
