Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
