im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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