My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
