Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize