i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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