i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
