I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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