I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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