why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize