A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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