Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
