I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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