At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish you could order shots online.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
