Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
