Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
