There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize