After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize