she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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