One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
