Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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