i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
