I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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