on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
