who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize