Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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