he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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