You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
