I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
