Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
