I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
