? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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