I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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