Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
