the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
