She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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