He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize