Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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