there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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