Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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