I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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