Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
