Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
