who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
